Tears on my pilau

I haven’t done an update in a couple of week as I just haven’t had the motivation. So my last post explained how I wasn’t able to have a band fill because of the pain I’m having and an appointment was scheduled for me to see the consultant.

I had an appointment on 6 August with a different consultant as mine was on holidays for another three weeks. I was already in a grumpy mood by the time I saw him as I’d been waiting an hour and half because the appointments were running late and I was in pain having to sit upright for that amount of time. The pain is worse when I’m upright as it puts more pressure on the area where it hurts. Laying down isn’t as bad but the pain is still there.

After being examined by the consultant he explained that the port has small holes at the base so that it can be anchored in place with some small stitches. Judging from the pain he thinks that it’s been stitched to the muscle under/near my ribs on the right which is causing the pain. This would make sense considering it feels like I’ve been kicked in the chest by a horse most of the time. He said I would need more minor surgery to snip this stitch and rectify the problem. I was so upset by this I actually cried in the office. Not because I need more surgery but because it’s going to delay my progress even more. I can’t have a band fill, he told me I can’t join a gym and I need to take as much pain medication as I need.

He said, because my consultant was away, he would make an appointment for an ultrasound so that when he came back he’d have all the evidence he needed to see what was wrong. I was told that once I received the letter confirming the date for the ultrasound I would need to phone admissions to make an appointment to see my consultant as soon as possible after it. So I just had to wait again.

I’m now back in work. It’s hard because I’m sat in front of a computer all day in the position that causes most pain. I’m taking Tramadol every morning with paracetamol and ibuprofen throughout the day. I want to get back to normal but it’s hard.

I finally received a letter at the weekend for my ultrasound. The appointment is for 21 August. This was annoying in itself considering it was meant to be booked in for before my consultant came back from holiday so that I could see him as soon as possible. I called the hospital today to make the next appointment only to be told there was nothing available. I have a routine post-surgery appointment booked for 25 September and there’s nothing before then.

It took all my energy not to shout and cry at this man but it wasn’t his fault, he was just in admin. How can I go on like this until the end of September? And it’s not just until the end of September because I’ll have to wait longer again for a date for surgery. I’m trying to get on with things, get on with my life, but I can’t do it without the painkillers and I don’t want to keep taking them. The Tramadol makes functioning difficult as it makes me want to sleep. Taking it first thing in the morning before starting a day in work doesn’t help. I can’t have a band fill so I’m not losing the weight. I can’t join a gym or do exercise because it hurts to damn much.

This morning I have phoned the bariatric co-ordinator but she’s not in until tomorrow. I phoned the bariatric secretary but she said because I’m a patient of this particular consultant I need to speak to the bariatric co-ordinator. I phoned the nurse dietician but she’s not answering so I left a long message begging someone to phone me. And I’ve just e-mailed everyone on the contacts list asking for someone to get back to me because I can’t go on like this until the end of September.

I really feel like tearing my hair out. I keep trying to stay positive and thought that having another small procedure was just a hurdle and I’d get there. But it’s dragging on so much. I’m fed up. And I just noticed the time – I need to take more ibuprofen.


Edit 1: all my e-mails have just been returned as undeliverable. Fabulous.

Edit 2: Just had a call back from the nurse who’s got me an appointment with my consultant on 6 September. Such a relief that I don’t have to wait until the end of September. Hopefully it’ll get sorted!