It’s been a while. As you can probably guess, it’s because nothing’s changed. My weight is still hovering between “Ooh a pound!” and “FFS, a pound.” I’ve had several hospital appointments since my last update and it’s always the same – either disappointed because I’ve put weight on or disappointed because it’s minimal going off. I’ve been working long hours, very stressed out and I haven’t been to the gym or swimming in months.
I feel like such a failure. This isn’t what I wanted and I feel like I haven’t been working (on myself) hard enough. I’m letting myself down and making excuses about stuff.
In November, I had an appointment with Kirsten, the bariatric nurse. She’s been very supportive since the surgery and I’ve seen her every 4-6 weeks. This was my last appointment with her as she’s now left and gone to pastures new. Anyway, she’s seen how frustrated I am and suggested I have an appointment with the dietician. I also explained that I’m tired all the time over the last few months so she also suggested I have another sleep apnoea test considering my last one couldn’t have been accurate given that I kept being woken up all night. So yesterday I saw the dietician.
I’ve kept a food diary over the last three weeks and, to be totally honest, it wasn’t until I saw everything written down that I realised I’m not doing quite as well as I thought. The dietician did say she didn’t think it was that bad and my meal choices are very good but there are improvements to be made. Small ones but hopefully they’ll make a difference.
Firstly, I didn’t realise I drank so much coffee. I thought I had maybe 1-2 cups a day on average but it’s more like 3 cups a day. I find my office very cold so it’s usually to warm up and also I’d prefer to have a coffee than snack on something sweet after lunch. Each cup is a cappuccino from the machine with 2 sugars – not good for milk or sugar intake. So my first change is to stop drinking so much coffee. Limit myself to 1 cup in the morning and then have tea or some other hot drink instead of milky sweet coffee.
Secondly, my breakfast usually consists of a cereal bar with the aforementioned coffee. Although it’s a low-calorie Special K cereal bar I’m going to replace this with a boiled egg. I was under the impression that you’re only meant to eat a certain number of eggs a week otherwise it’s not good for you. Well, that’s a myth! Who knew? The dietician said it’s not true so I can have an egg a day instead of the cereal bar. That suits me as I don’t really like sweet things for breakfast and prefer savoury but I didn’t know what to have instead. Step 2 done.
And lastly, my third change is going to be a mid-afternoon snack – again, replacing the coffee with something better. I’m going to have a cheese triangle with a cracker or some crudités if I can prepare them in the morning. It’ll probably be the cracker though as I’m a lazy arse.
We’ll see how all that goes and maybe it’ll make a difference. I have to keep the food diary going until my next appointment in January so we’ll see. I’m not very confident about Christmas though as my mum usually buys enough food for the entire village. Not that I have to eat it of course and my willpower is a lot better than it was but, y’know, it’s Christmas…
Anyway, I’m making my New Year’s resolution early. Next year is going to be MY year. I’m NOT going to work late any more (please someone slap me if this happens!) and I will be concentrating more on my health and wellbeing. I’ll be going back to the gym and making sure my work:life ratio is back on track. I’m currently making myself ill with migraines and stuff because of stress so something’s got to give and it’s not going to be my health. A couple more weeks of hard work and then, come January, it’s all about me. Forgive me for this next bit:
In a Joey Essex way: I’m going to be reem in twenty-fourteen.
If you don’t know what this means, please don’t look it up as you’ll think a lot less of me. If you do know what it means, please don’t think less of me, I’ll never do it again.